Times, they are a changin’….

Hello! It’s been a while since I was last here, and I owe you all an apology! My daughter and I have moved to our own place, I’m working a lot, spending a good amount of time trying to take care of myself (soul-searching, reading, journaling), and moving mountains (or so it feels) to get myself back to college so I may at some point in the future (crossing my fingers) become an RN.

I have been needing some changes in my life, and if I were a car, I guess you’d say I am in need of an overhaul. A major one. It has been a rocky road for me lately, but I’m doing what I need to do to become a better person, and this journey is not a walk through the park. It’s more like the yellow brick road where sometimes I’m dancing along just fine, and at other times I stumble across a road block…..but I keep on going, and I’m bound for the “Emerald City”. Also known as self-fulfillment and happiness. Wish me luck!

One thing I have not changed is my love for scrapping and documenting my life, good and bad. Thank goodness for Project Life which lets me do just that, only at my own pace which can sometimes be quickly, sometimes slowly, but lately quite steady and on track. I just haven’t shared anything yet (I’m rather slow at this blogging thing!). I showed a snippet of week 11 last post, and I am ready to share weeks 12 through 17. Be warned, this is photo heavy!

Hello to Fadhilah, my sweet friend! I was so touched by her email to me a while back asking where I’ve been because she enjoys following me, and I must say I didn’t realize I had such followers! She is kind, intelligent and fun to talk with (through emails); we share our experiences of motherhood and scrapbooking. She is a joy, and I have learned that whatever country, culture or religion a woman belongs to, we all have more in common than we may realize. Thank you, Fadhilah! You are a blessing to me.

This is the inside of the folded card with “School Days” and the typewriter on it; it also contains the business card of the counselor I had a meeting with. This was a very special day for me; the counselor was so supportive and friendly, and when I left, I literally broke down in tears I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I’m really going back to school!! It was a dare I gave myself, and I didn’t chicken out. Amazing! The doubt and fear I have been harboring inside for the last 20 years has kept me stuck in one place. It’s time to stop spinning my wheels, face the challenges head on, and grow. I look forward to documenting and scrapping this journey, too.

Thank you for stopping by and allowing me to open up a little piece of my life to you, and thank you to my family and friends for being so supportive. I may not have all the time in the world to blog as much as I’d like, but trust me, I’ll be back as soon as I can. Happiness and best wishes to all of you,

Jennifer

[Oh- I almost forgot to give credit to Becky Higgins’ Project Life for the base of the album (including the small page add-on for two 4×6″ photos); Studio Calico for the majority of the journal cards and embellishments; Lawn Fawn for some of the wood veneer elements and paper clips; Ormolu for badges; Elle’s Studio for journal tags, and Michael’s for most of the washi tape.]

 

 

Life Is What You Make It.

Sorry for having been gone so long.

Let’s be honest here. Life has thrown me some pretty powerful blows. And, depression runs in my family. No, this is not an excuse, just a statement of fact. I have used this as an excuse, which has been selfish on my part. Ok. Let’s be done with that, and go on to tomorrow and the next day and the day after and so on.

[A song from Talk Talk, a favorite group]

Baby
Life’s what you make it – can’t escape it.
Baby
Yesterday’s favourite – don’t you hate it?
Ev’rything’s alright – live’s what you make it –
Ev’rything’s alright.Baby
Life’s what you make it – don’t backdate it.
Baby
Don’t try to shake it – beauty is naked.
Ev’rything’s alright – live’s what you make it –
Ev’rything’s alright – what you make it.Baby
Life’s what you make it – celebrate itAnticipate it – yesterday’s faded.
Nothing can change it – life’s what you make it.
Ev’rything’s alright – life’s what you make it.
Ev’rything’s alright – life’s what you make it.
Ev’rything’s alright – ev’rything’s alright.

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/talk_talk/

I have learned, lately, that when life (as I think it should be ) doesn’t hold up to my expectations, I need to re-think those expectations. Where on earth do these expectations come from, anyway?  Who am I to even have any expectations, anyway? I have no control over anything except myself. I am who I am, and I am learning (I am a very slow learner, by the way)what I can and can’t do. I shouldn’t have expectations, life is what I make it.

As I keep in my mind quite often:

                               “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

                               Courage to change the things I can, and the

                               Wisdom to know the difference.”

                                  

Lately, when things were dark and terrible for me, I also think often of a prayer my grandmother pasted near her old 1950’s (?)  telephone in the kitchen of her Ivanhoe ranch house, the “Stepfoots In the Sand”. I didn’t understand that poem when I was a young girl, but her gentle explanation made it so clear to me. I miss my grandparents very much. It helps me a great deal. Knowing who I am, and what I could do, if given the chance, gives me hope.  I know in my heart that I can be more than I have settled for. I am capable of being a better person!

I think of my grandparents as my guardian angels watching over me, giving me a sense of “what will be, will be.” I have the courage to change what I can, and if I cannot, it’s not meant to be. I pray for the serenity to accept that. With my family and my work friends, I feel confident that I will.  And my guardian angels simply have a different path planned for me. At least I am trying! 

In the mean time, I have decided this (thank you, Mom!)

So, from here, I am making more choices. I choose to live my life on my terms. I choose not to be a victim. I choose to help others. I choose to try, what it may, to go back to college and become a nurse. I know I could do it. I could be an awesome nurse, given a chance.

I also feel liberated, now that I have moved to a new apartment, to be me.

There will be much more coming in the future. Just remember that “Life’s what you make it”! Make it great.

Thank you, as always, for being here.

Jennifer

A Week In the Life, 2011 (finally!)

I just completed the finishing touches on my Week In the Life project. It took much longer to complete than I anticipated, but here it is.

I participated in this project last year during the month of May, and I had used this American Crafts binder that still had plenty of room in it (this project doesn’t really take up enough space for an entire album, in my humble opinion), so I used the same album for this year’s edition, as well. The first half is 2010, and I made a “bookmark” as a divider and labeled it for the second half, which is 2011.

Not overly decorated, like most of my albums…I’m a minimalist when it comes to these things. I’ve had too many covers come apart, and it’s just not worth it since they will be put on a shelf anyway.

I started my Week In the Life (WITL) project on Monday, July 25, just like Ali Edwards (the head master/guide/initiator/guru of this annual memory-keeping experience). I ended on the following Sunday, and you may notice that some days have more photos than others. There are just so many pictures I can take at work (HIPAA rules), and at other times, I just plain forgot to get out my camera (really!). Some of the times on the photos may be incorrect because I was literally guessing at times, since I was not very good at writing times down when I took a photo, and it didn’t occur to me to look at the photo’s meta data until after the fact (doh!), and I really didn’t feel like reprinting everything…I’m using so much ink and paper with this!

So, please forgive the fact that this is so imperfect, but the bottom line is that I have documented my life for one week, and it will be really interesting to look back on this later on in the future.

Intro page

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

The end page.

Not showing are the notes I took which I put into page protectors and included in my album.

Originally, I was not going to include these, but then I thought, why not? These are my thoughts and the details of my doings, and it saves me time and money if I don’t rewrite them onto journaling cards. I credit Ali with giving me the idea; I think it’s a good one. Including your hand-written notes and journaling into your memory-keeping makes that memory more authentic and special. Your handwriting is a part of you, and your notes can include some important details you may not want to forget!

This was a great project that you don’t have to wait to do. Once a year, Ali Edwards (aliedwards.com) puts on this project, inviting anyone and everyone who has an interest in documenting their life for one week to participate.  It costs nothing to join in; it’s not a club, and you do not have to do anything you don’t want to. She puts it on during a specific week which she chooses each year, but there’s no reason at all why you can’t decide to do something like this for yourself any time you choose. You can also put your documentation into any sort of medium: an entirely digital album, a mini album, or something like Ali does, but with your own twist on it.  It’s just a form of inspiration which you may take a closer look at your life; pay attention to the little details, take note of what you really do/feel/say/observe/eat during a typical week in your life and document it for posterity’s sake. Can you imagine how your life will have changed 20 years from now? And imagine your grandchildren and their grandchildren getting to experience your life through your eyes, and really getting to know who you are. Fascinating.

Enjoy!

 

Life with him.

 

I haven’t done any digital scrapbooking lately, but today I was compelled to do so. Hubby had some fun with his camera while I was at work, and I just had to put it into a Cathy Zielske template. This was really fun to make. Life really is good, and I am always happy to document it. Enjoy!

 

My book of Life Lists

I signed up for Kelly Purkey’s new self-paced class at Big Picture Classes called A Week of Life Lists and had a really good time making this book. Each day I will take a photo of something that represents the day, and complete my list whenever I have the chance. I think it will be fun to look back at this someday and remember exactly what I was thinking and feeling at a given moment. I also find the concept of our changing thoughts/feelings/experiences from day to day very interesting. I’ve never been much of a list-maker, but with respect to self-discovery at a future date, it could be rather illuminating, so I’ll do it. What have I got to lose?

inside pages, and the back (for fun)

The patterned papers and stars are by Studio Calico; kraft paper and gems by Bazzill Basics; washi tape by Paislee Press; stamp by Cat’s Life Press; baker’s twine by Whisker Graphics; white acrylic paint from Michael’s.

Like making lists? Feel like making a cute little book for fun? Want to document where you are in your life right now? This is your class. It’s fun, inexpensive, will be an interesting piece of your life to savor at any time. I recommend it! Happy list-making!

What lies within…

photo by Rob Bryant

I finished up a photo album I am making for my brother’s birthday, and this photo was on the final page. I think it to be very appropriate. Life is a “long and winding road” (shout out to you, Daniel!), and I find this saying to be true, and helpful in maintaining sanity. Food for thought. 🙂

The unexpected life

This is my layout that I just finished this evening for the class I am currently taking at Big Picture Classes. I am much too tired to go into any more depth about the subject tonight, but this is one of many, many stories I am telling for the class, in a nutshell.

“Death Be Not Proud…”

card by Retrospect.

It’s not an easy subject to talk about. Some people simply cannot or will not do it at all. But it’s on my mind, so I will. Death. I have encountered it twice recently, and it felt strange. Strange, because I encounter it so often at my job (hospital), but for some reason, it is affecting me differently now. I don’t know why. The unknown 41-year-old was a sad case. Brain dead. Organ donor. I had to help in his care, and I couldn’t help but think strange thoughts to myself. Had he shaved carefully that morning? Did he eat a good breakfast? What happened? It sends a cold shiver down me. And the person my friends and I all knew of; that was quite a shock. Car accident. Dead on scene. Was someone waiting for him at home? What appointments did he have the next day? Again, what happened? 

Something inside has jolted me out of a complacency. That is a good thing, because when people die and it doesn’t have much of an effect, that bothers me. Have I been in healthcare too long? No, I love it, and it’s all I really know. I suppose someone knew that I needed to wake up and smell the coffee: life is precious, but life can also be short. Love it, live it, enjoy and appreciate it. Every minute.